What To Do If Your Date Is Jittery, A Jerk, Or Both!
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...By Astrid Engels
Published: December 17, 2009
Internet dating veterans love online dating for a number of reasons not the least of which is the sheer number of singles on dating sites. That first face to face though can be a bit nerve wracking. But being the experienced dater that you are, you know how to put a brave face on. So what do you do if your date is not quite so savvy?
The fact that your date is nervous can be both charming and frustrating. It’s clear that even though he or she is happy to finally meet you, it’s equally clear that he or she is finding the whole thing a bit overwhelming and intimidating. Which isn’t surprising because you are, after all, totally awesome. But you want them to be relaxed because all those nerves are going to get in the way of getting to know each other.
Usually I approach this head on, in a kind and non critical way. Simply acknowledge that you understand their nervousness and admit that you feel the same way (even if you don’t, it’s kinder this way). Suggest to your date that you both put those feelings aside. Recommend that you both lighten up a bit and have some fun, then lead by example.
Hopefully, you date follow and you can really get somewhere. If your date doesn’t follow suit? Well, there’s only so much you can do. You’re out there for a good time, not a free therapy session. If quiet clam-boy won’t open his shell, don’t be rudebut do find an excuse to make it an early night. Maybe this is just how he always is or maybe he needs to ease into things and will be better next time the two of you hang out.
Okay, you’ve dealt with the nerves and the two of you are actually talking! Congrats. About an hour into the date, you discover that your date is actually a bit of a jerk. No, make that a total jerk.
It’s all a bit mysterious. You know he works with animals and he’s told you lots of stories about his nieces and nephews who love him to pieces, but now that you’ve actually laid eyes on him and have seen the way he treats random strangers; yeah, he’s a jerk. While his emails were sweet and even charming, the way he’s snapping at the waitress and the guy who accidentally bumped into his chair are downright embarrassing.
These are the kind of things you just can’t predict. His or her annoyance may not be directed towards you, but their behavior is enough to raise red flags. There is always the possibility that sooner or later their anger is going to be direct at you. There are definitely some deeper issues here that this person needs to resolve.
Now this may sound a bit callous but here’s the thing. Dating someone with anger issues is like going to the pet store and buying a puppy or a kitten knowing that it’s already sick. Sure, you can get a healthy one that may develop issues down the road, but at the very least you should shop around until you find the healthiest one possible.
This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles.
